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ok, aku curi-curi masa (procrastinate) to update something in here when i was supposed to finish my ulang kaji on embryology. my head is aching already and there's still 3-4 parts to go! i haven't even finished the first part...and tu pun aku banyak skip ha ha ha benda pertama yang aku komen about this whole being a medical student thingy is that learning medicine is like learning biology, every single day. no other subjects but biology. at least untuk first year lah. but i've already reviewed some of the subjects for second year and i can safely say that yep, learning medicine is basically learning biology everyday---only the scope is much more extensive and deeper. so to those who can't stand biology--please, for the love of god---jangan take up medicine HAHAHAHAH even if you are a bright student and people convinces you to be a doctor because 'you are smart!!!' please don't listen to them? if you love physics and maths, engineering is the perfect fit for you. we won't learn both of those subjects ever again in medicine. a fact that i'm really grateful for tbh. itulah aku kata bebanyak course kat UPM ni medicine je aku minat and that i can never go for engineering sebab ada calculus....though how many times 'are you fit to be a doctor' online quizzes try to tell me that my personality is wayyyy off to be one and that i'm much more in sync with careers that have human interaction to the minimum. teringat how masa interview and this one station requires me to answer the interviewer's questions in english only; and entah macam mana entah aku tak ingat---the 'i'm an introvert' confession popped out from my mouth and i immediately regret saying that the exact moment it came out from my mouth. the interviewer legit laughed and says, 'how can you be a doctor when you are an introvert?' aku nak je cakap, 'doktor, saya introvert je, bukan bisu.' tapi sah sah lah aku kena reject kalau aku cakap macam tu kan. so i answered calmly (i think) that 'i'm an introvert in the sense that i prefer spending time and recharge my energy by being alone.' well, it's true. kenapa orang assume introverts are socially inept people who can't talk to strangers to save their lives? i know that i'm not. Dulu, maybe. sekarang dah tak hahahah (ketawa bangga) i still take a lot of time to warm up to people, and to those who i don't know very well, i'm still weary and awkward around them but i can now initiate small talks!!! i can be the one who starts a conversation, and i'm not afraid to maintain eye contacts with the person i'm talking to anymore. i can hold up my hand and speak up, share my opinion even when i'm not asked to. i have sort of became a leader for a group of people that i have never talked to/met before. i led group discussions, presented our ideas to the superiors...stuffs that i have never imagine i would do before. oh gosh i'm so proud of myself :') hAHAH tapi sekejap je la aku function as a leader, lepastu aku selalu hilang dari radar LMAO and then i ended up giving my responsibility to another teammate. being a leader bukannya senang ok, especially when you actually forced to be one (sis nak cakap sebenarnya sis tak reda, tapi sebab takde orang yang volunteer so aku je lah yang jadi mak sanggup) tapi point-nya kat sini ialah introverts pun boleh jadi doctor!!! our warmth might don't radiate as bright as those of extroverts' but ours shine quietly and genuinely, even more so than those of extroverts :') and introverts, don't limit yourself just because you identify yourself as one. introverts pun boleh jadi leaders! public speakers! singers! always push yourself out of your comfort zone. it'll be scary at first, i know---tapi bila kau buat--even kau tak berjaya sekalipun---the feelings you'll feel are incomparable. it's exhilarating and inspire yourself to do more, because you are much more than you let yourself to think you are. and remember, confidence is key! hahahah jadi motivational speaker pulak aku memalam ni. anyway, nak menjawab persoalan 'penat tak jadi medical student??' aku baru start 3 minggu so aku tak rasa aku layak nak jawab hahahaha but yea compared to other courses our schedule is much more packed. i meannnn, if you put medicine as your first choice you basically signed and sealed a lifetime contract oookay, back to studying. bye.
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