I talked to at least 4-5 strangers today. I slayed at it. But in all honesty, i prefer not to do it again HAHAHAHAH but really, i think this is when you can really distinguish between being 'introverted' or just plain quite in general. there was this interview for a job i attended last week, and when the interviewer asked what i hope to gain from the working experience, one of my answers was plainly cliche---to improve communication skills. I told him honestly that i am a quiet person, and that social communication is not my forte. And then he said, "eh yeke? tak nampak macam pendiam pun?" HAH. I spent the entire day smiling at my accomplishment of appearing un-quiet and confident in front of someone i had never met/ talked to before. 

But really, when the need arises, i have no problem in faking 'extroversion' or mask my introversion. fake till you make it, kata omputeh. But the downside is that doing such thing for a prolonged period of time will exhaust me. PHYSICALLY. hahaha. idk why though? like my energy has subsided and suddenly i felt the urge to sleep for 5 hours straight. or maybe sebab harini aku barely get a 5 hours sleep. Or maybe its because of both. 

This is where simply being confident and being naturally extroverted differs. Siapa kata introverts are socially reclusive turtles who are afraid of any kind of social connections and whom talking to strangers are basically their most horrible nightmare?? introverts are simply a person who recharge their energy by spending time alone. that's why lah aku cakap, i have no problem communicating with strangers----but honestly, if i have a choice, i wouldn't do it. I prefer not to. It exhausts me!!! kalau setakat formal communications (macam interview/work related) aku okey lah. But kalau yang libatkan small talks---gahd i hate those. Small talks are when communications dah tak jadi formal, but starts to lean towards personal. communication was supposed to be two ways, right? but dengan aku, dia jadi one way. jalan sehala. jalan mati.

contohnya; when this person ask me how my day's going, i'll answer politely or borderline sweetly, 'i had an amazing day :)'. And then nothing. Aku takkan tanya that person back pulak. Why? because i don't want to know. Simple. Kinda asshole-ish but ye know, it's how i operate. 

That's why i appear as 'quiet' and 'shy' to some. It's because of these one way communication lah. But anyway, after stucked dengan a friend yang extroverted and friendly to basically everyone (and it came effortlessly for her as well,) for a whole year (hahaha mama) i started to pick up things slowly from her. Aku tiru cara dia, and it helps a bit. 

Because you know, introversion is a trait, not a weakness. It shouldn't be made as an excuse for you to avoid things you don't like. real life doesn't work that way. In the end, we---introverts are living in an extroverted world. so nak tak nak kenalah fake till you make it, right?

and on another note, one funny episode today was at the cinema, there's this placard of life sized actors of Baywatch, and Zac Efron was shirtless. HAHA. and then i looked at it and went 'oh my god, daymmmn' and tetiba there's this one dude lalu at the exact moment aku cakap 'daymnn' and u know what? he's also fine as hell HAHAHAHAH gosh bulan puasa ni bedah !!!! jaga mata!!!! hahahahaha so many good looking dudes at JB i'm crying i love my hometown

it's June already lolz. I kinda wish this cuti will never ends ;-; going back to uni for bachelor studies scares me ;-;



ciao.