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lemme start this post with 'i fucking flopped my calculus exam yeay!' anyway. expected but why does it still hurts? haha. tak dapat markah lagi but obviously takkan aku nak expect an A pulak kan, given how my carry marks are pathetic and how final is even more pathetic. BUT I CAN'T AFFORD anything lower than B because by then i might have to flush my goal of applying for a medical degree into the toilet. salah aku jugak ngengade nak pasang goal tinggi-tinggi. orang kata, ukur baju kat badan sendiri. yang aku ukur kat badan model victoria secret tu kenapa??? dahlah aku takde nafsu langsung nak sambung any other courses but medic at the moment. what kind of messed up life am i living rn?? being a psychiatrist has been my sole goal since forever, i've grown not to care or know about other career prospects other than that. i'm still thinking up a few of plan Bs...one is to apply a psychology course kat IPTS. but seriously costly. where the hell am i supposed to cikau duit nak bayar such fee? belum masuk hostel fee lagi Allahu. and then there's the idea of doing a double degree. completing a degree in other course and after that baru aku try apply for medic. but seriously, can you imagine spending 4 years or above learning something that you don't have any passion for because i cANT and lastly, just accept, redha and start to survey on things that manalah tahu, aku minat cuma aku tak tau je and choose that for my degree course. still searching and haven't found one yet though. i mean, fakulti bahasa. precisely major in english language or literature kinda sounds like they would be up in my alley but nah. there's a distinct difference between a 'hobby' and a 'passion'. i like writing and stuffs but never really dreaming or pursuing such field. setakat hobi tu boleh la, in short. literature and language is awesome and i have a natural knack for it but i just felt like it'll never...idk...fulfill my needs? hahahaha macam pelik ayat dia. i'm more of a science geek. and speaking of which, ada major in biomedical. haritu aku siap attend the talk lagi about that major but lepas aku dengar sendiri pasal the course---my interest has somehow flattened? mula-mula tu macam ada ah jugak curious kan. then lepas dapat tahu pasal course tu lebih dalam interest tu hilang weh. waddehel hahahaha. memang aku biology nerd tapi idk the life of just doing research, practically living in the laboratory, using microscope...doesn't intrigues me...haa mesti ada yang rasa macam nak sekeh kepala aku kan baca ni. HAHAHAHA. demand sungguh perempuan ni. well future aku of course aku nak demand. ko apa tau. i like the darker side of things, i hate playing it safe. i want the blood and gore. do ya feel me. ok writing this out kinda make me realize another career that can fulfill these: an assasin. or a serial killer. yep. but let's keep it legal ok? maybe architecture? blergh nah my math sucks. my uncle ada suruh masuk statistik because the pay is really high but idk. statistics is math and last time i checked math is my nemesis so nah thanks fam i'm good but for now aku macam nak shortlist a few potential career prospects:
which will require a major from bachelor of Computer Science;
sounds nerdy i like it. HAHAHA anyway physics is actually one of my fav subjects it was just that math...i find it hard to tolerate. boleh la kot? cuma kena struggle lebih lah.
orait that's it. takleh banyak-banyak nanti aku yang pening nak apply apa. so with that i'm concluding 'the adventure of bedah finding a new career prospect because entering medic is now close to impossible because calculus was a bitch.'
adios.
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