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i'm so painfully, horrendously, awkward lmao. like aku sentiasa tahu aku awkward but harini aku rasa that quirk of mine went through the roof. lagi-lagi time dealing dengan cikgu kat sekolah nak mintak cop apa semua tu hahah. macam mana niiii aku nak survive kat uni nanti takkan sampai bebila nak jadi macam niii reminds me of something i read on a blog about the difference between INTP's inferior fe and INTJ's tertiary fi. INTP's inferior fe makes us literally, uncapable, and sucksss at any kind of social setting. in short, kitorang awkward gila nak mampus. nak senyum pun aku rasa macam ..idk forced? like i want to smile at the people i want to make a good impression at, but aku sentiasa, tak pernah fail, akan overthink about it. like how do i smile? does my smile looks odd? oohMYgOd mesti aku nampak pelik gila !! mesti dia ingat aku nganjeng diaa!! like dude? chill. senyum je pun. but its written in my code its apart of me i don't know how to get rid of it i don't know how to change it fck and apa beza dengan INTJ's tertiary fi? we CARE. WE FCKGN CARE HOW WE MIGHT COME ACROSS TO OTHER PEOPLE AND THIS MAKES ME STRESSED OUT this is why aku sangat, sangat, ultra sangat, sangaaaat skeptik yang aku akan make any new friends kat sana nanti. i'll probably just stand behind hazlina's back like a scared little child who hides behind her mom because she's afraid of people lol. but you're eighteen nabilah!! for god sake!! people aren't scary. kinda. sort of. i can't help to judge people internally..and my standards are high...and i'm a bit weird..these three characteristics make me sure that i'm going to have a freikn hard time socializing or finding any new friends later. ah lantak lah. aku pergi sana bukan sebab nak buat kawan. aku nak belajar. on another note i still hate my awkwardness. bye.
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